Nikan
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Post by Nikan on Aug 9, 2023 19:46:20 GMT
^ (another way of phrasing would be: ... to adapt to their - the loved one's - choices of objects of desire) ^I'm not talking about "goals" because it's too general and there is of course a reason - be it unconsciously - that you decided to look up to some one - be it your favorite celebrity/ artist or a charismatic family member/friend/co-worker... I'm talking more about "smaller" in comparison, more specific yet important things ("types" in things maybe)… have you ever had such a realization? does it seem creepy/inauthentic to you? or it's only a part of life ("imitation" of sorts... to grow up)? 
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Post by countjohn on Aug 9, 2023 22:35:22 GMT
I am a reasonably intelligent person but you kind of lost me with these long, winding sentences man  Whatever it is I would probably do it for Miranda Kerr though |
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flasuss
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Post by flasuss on Aug 9, 2023 23:36:21 GMT
Uh...what?
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Post by TylerDeneuve on Aug 10, 2023 0:14:56 GMT
Yes, this actually happened to me with Sofia Coppola... so I can speak from experience.   |
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Post by Martin Stett on Aug 10, 2023 2:00:25 GMT
I'm not sure I fully understand, but if I'm reading this right, I think that's a pretty normal thing. You like being with someone - they have interests that you don't share - their enthusiasm for said interests intrigues you - you investigate - you become invested in said interests, even divorced from the presence of whoever started you on that path.
I'm not an expert - if psychological studies disagree with me, side with the professionals - but I'd go so far as to say that this is healthy. You can enjoy and become proficient at things that you wouldn't have begun without someone else making you want to start.
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Nikan
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Post by Nikan on Aug 10, 2023 8:47:23 GMT
I'm not sure I fully understand, but if I'm reading this right, I think that's a pretty normal thing. You like being with someone - they have interests that you don't share - their enthusiasm for said interests intrigues you - you investigate - you become invested in said interests, even divorced from the presence of whoever started you on that path.I'm not an expert - if psychological studies disagree with me, side with the professionals - but I'd go so far as to say that this is healthy. You can enjoy and become proficient at things that you wouldn't have begun without someone else making you want to start. You got it right, but the scenario I'm going to paint goes a little deeper. Let's say one idealizes his uncle very much from a young, impressionable age; indirectly realizes that he prefers brunette women with a particular characteristic (something about their temper or body figure), and he gradually develops a liking in that type of girl for either a time or the rest of his life... may never even notice it. I'm not as certain about this picture as I am with let's say one's lifelong obsession/search for a mother replacement (that's why above I mentioned "creepy" too, when you adapt such strong "liking" from somebody outside of the three of you: mom, dad and child... it gets way weirder if you replace the uncle with a celebrity!)… is orientation that simple or funny though? Could the "self" be so... accidental or plant-like (and easy-to-manipulate) in those early couple of decades of living? makes one want to stop romanticizing youth so much (but I'm getting ahead of myself)... Or either all of this is overthinking about a very typical way of development (one of a hundred ways one grows to like, rank and persue things; you're going to get shaped some way!) and if I go on, people would think I've written a Hollywood psychological thriller in early 00s or something  |
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Post by ibbi on Aug 10, 2023 10:02:24 GMT
Yes, didn't you ever see Single White Female?
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Nikan
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Post by Nikan on Aug 10, 2023 11:38:56 GMT
Yes, didn't you ever see Single White Female? Never. One day though. I'll watch almost anything she's in. |
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Post by Martin Stett on Aug 10, 2023 12:17:03 GMT
I'm not sure I fully understand, but if I'm reading this right, I think that's a pretty normal thing. You like being with someone - they have interests that you don't share - their enthusiasm for said interests intrigues you - you investigate - you become invested in said interests, even divorced from the presence of whoever started you on that path.I'm not an expert - if psychological studies disagree with me, side with the professionals - but I'd go so far as to say that this is healthy. You can enjoy and become proficient at things that you wouldn't have begun without someone else making you want to start. You got it right, but the scenario I'm going to paint goes a little deeper. Let's say one idealizes his uncle very much from a young, impressionable age; indirectly realizes that he prefers brunette women with a particular characteristic (something about their temper or body figure), and he gradually develops a liking in that type of girl for either a time or the rest of his life... may never even notice it. I'm not as certain about this picture as I am with let's say one's lifelong obsession/search for a mother replacement (that's why above I mentioned "creepy" too, when you adapt such strong "liking" from somebody outside of the three of you: mom, dad and child... it gets way weirder if you replace the uncle with a celebrity!)… is orientation that simple or funny though? Could the "self" be so... accidental or plant-like (and easy-to-manipulate) in those early couple of decades of living? makes one want to stop romanticizing youth so much (but I'm getting ahead of myself)... Or either all of this is overthinking about a very typical way of development (one of a hundred ways one grows to like, rank and persue things; you're going to get shaped some way!) and if I go on, people would think I've written a Hollywood psychological thriller in early 00s or something Still sounds fairly normal for me. I have an attraction to East Asian women, probably because I really, really love Japanese movies. And music. And video games. And food. I associate the things I like with other things I like. |
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