cherry68
Based
Man is unhappy because he doesn't know he's happy. It's only that.
Posts: 3,726
Likes: 2,136
|
Post by cherry68 on May 8, 2024 18:19:02 GMT
No, really, Cherry, thank you. I know I have been gone a very long time (for a while the page to the site was locked for me), so I am grateful for the warm wish. I must also apologize for acting so crazy the last week I was here in 2018. It was not a good time, I behaved abominably, and I hope to make it up to you and everyone else. Frankly I never perceived you as aggressive or negative towards people. Sorry to hear you've been banned. Nobody knew, I thought you simply went away. I hope you feel better with your life nowadays.
|
|
|
Post by urbanpatrician on May 8, 2024 18:40:02 GMT
Now I need to know what happened. 2018 was not a good year for me. Members here from the IMDb days likely remember that when that board closed in 2017, the members went two places: a Facebook group and here. I juggled both places. But, my anxiety level kept going up, the longer after the split. I had this desperate desire to please everyone and to be the best possible friend, but I began to feel that people really didn't like me, even though I was told that I was. Having had one bad experience online, I was trying so desperately to make sure it wouldn't happen again. But that was not to be. My internal worries about that, combined with some anger over feeling dogpiled a few times, sadness at being joked about on Facebook, depression over my closest internet friend leaving the group entirely in July 2018, the emotionally draining nature of the news headlines that year, and several other issues involving my own life in the real world really spilled over ultimately into a day that I just entirely snapped and went into a rage: December 9, 2018. By that point, I was certain that people I cared for deeply did not like me, and I was growing really tired over the constant salivating over two of the films that year, neither of which sounded good to me (and neither of which I bothered with seeing since.) I began to get angry in a private group chat that day and was dismissed. Later that day when those films came up on the Facebook group, I made a comment saying I wish one of them would go away and that the other one was tiring to hear about. I once again had what felt like several against me, and I snapped in pure anger, trying to defend my position but letting all the frustration over the past year spill out with many angry statements. I called the Facebook group a "cult of the new", and I pressed the leave group button there, like I had done a few times when I was really upset , and on those earlier times, they left me back in within a few hours or a day. I was so angry over what happened there that day (combined with what had gone on throughout that year) that I raged against the films here as well, and I really treated Stephen badly that day, and I went around that day and the following three with a major chip on my shoulder. Well, what happened was when I calmed down a bit, I asked to be let back in the Facebook group because even in spite of some issues, I truly cared about people there, but was informed "Why would you want to be part of a group that laughs about you?" That hurt, I cried a lot privately, and I then asked if it was happening more than I realized . The answer was "Yes". I then confronted via PM one who I trusted, one who said that I was liked by people and I demanded to know why he lied to me. And he said that people felt that I looked down at them, which was as far from the truth as possible. I adored those people in spite it all; I looked up to them, I thought of them as my close friends. And my hyperventilation got to the point that the guy said that I would not be allowed back into the group until I fulfilled this long list of demands. And then he banned me from the group. It caused me to have a nervous breakdown, and I came over here and commented a few times at how angry I was to be locked out of the group after all I did to try to help (including having undertaken over 25 labor-intensive community private ballot polls in a row as a favor to the man who ultimately kicked me out) and how I was desperate to get back in. That must have ruffled some features, because two days later, when I was away from the computer for just a few minutes, I got banned from here too. Every time I tried to come here for years, up would come a white screen saying "you have been banned from this forum" Within three days, I got banned from both places with the IMDb community I had come to love over the past four years, and found that to many I was a laughing stock. And it hurt so bad that I thought about committing suicide. 2019 was a year of endless gloom for me, and I walled myself off from most people, which I guess was good preparation for the pandemic year of 2020. They lifted the ban on me in the Facebook group in January 2021, but by that point, while I was grateful and went back to it, the group there had changed. Familiar faces were gone, the fizziness there had disappeared, and I was older, sadder, and less sure of myself. I had been told that the ban here was permanent back in January 2019, so I was really shocked when I found that I could log back in here yesterday. I don't even know when the ban here lifted, or even why somehow. Please realize I'm not quite the same as I was before. Hopefully I have matured, but I am much sadder and less bubbly than I used to be. I'm sorry to have to talk about this all, and I apologize for all the pain I caused at the time. Damn man, I had no clue about any of this. I'm not gonna pretend I know what occurred but sounds silly if the ban is related to movies. If it's some emotional social thing then hopefully that aspect will have cooled down now. I kinda went off the map for a few years from 2011-2012 and when I came back in 2013 I had no idea users I never even heard of still remembered some of the old stuff I said, and held grudges. Weird how online works.
|
|
|
Post by countjohn on May 8, 2024 20:02:18 GMT
taranofprydainUnless you deleted stuff I looked at your old posts and I say meaner things than that several times a week As do many other people. Are you sure you were banned and that it wasn't some kind of technical issue? Outside of immediately banning spammers we usually have a discussion in the help forum before banning someone to get a consensus like what happened with blockbusted. At least to my knowledge the mods don't suddenly ban regular users for being snippy, there's plenty of other people they could ban if that was the case.
|
|
|
Post by taranofprydain on May 8, 2024 20:55:45 GMT
|
|
|
Post by taranofprydain on May 8, 2024 21:08:24 GMT
countjohn, I'm sorry, I'm having a little trouble with the text boxes. Anyway, I recall that my blow-up at Stephen was in a thread about The Favourite, it was unprovoked on his part, I was acting pretty crazy that day due to what occurred at the other place, I snapped back an insult listing all my shortcomings and angrily asked what do you expect me to do, and he responded eventually with a GIF of Homer Simpson backing completely into the bushes, and the one who started the thread asked for the comments to be eliminated. So, you would not be able to find them even if you tried. Stephen might remember more details. As for the posts in the three days after that, I recall making an unflattering comment or two about gosdip in the Facebook group, one person in particular. One person who had an account here later told me in a Facebook PM that that was taken down too. I definitely was banned, because I remember the one line of black ink on the white background, something on the order of "you have been banned from participating in this forum" or "the administrators have suspended the account on this forum" or something along that line. And it was like that for years. I don't even know when it finally lifted. My Facebook contact said at the time that it was permanent.
|
|