3 Wishes for Today's Winners

Eeaoo wins nothing and the daniels are arrested at the end of the show

1. No one wins anything for the color of their skin

2. Kerry Condon wins BSA and saves us all from the horror show of JLC / Angela Bassett who can both right fnck off

3. If Austin Butler wins - God Forbid because he's not that good peole - but IF he wins he just says "Thank you, thank you very much" in the Elvis voice and then gets off the stage in case there's been a mistake in tabulating the votes and so I don't have to hear about "what he "went through" to become Elvis"

01. Cate Blanchett
02. Todd Field - screenplay
03. All that Breathes (documentary)

The category is open enough that I'd like to see John Williams steal original score and be the oldest Oscar winner, and so Fabelmans gets at least something.

Tar in cinematography would be nice. And I'd like to see Babylon win costumes because Mary Zophres has never won.

My wishes:

1. They hand out Everything Bagels to the audience.
2. There are no violence/slaps/people falling down.
3. People refer to Women Talking as "Women are Talking"
4. Glass Onion wins Adapted Screenplay

All eyes on Diane Warren. She'll do well to top last year.

Oh honeys I always call these right...


1. Michelle Blanchett for Best Actress

2. Brendan Butler Farrell for Best Actor

3. Top Gun Everthing Everywhere All At The Fabelmans for Best Picture (although I personally preferred the Triangle of Sadness, tbh)


Since I can't be there due to a scheduling conflict that has me washing my hair... I hope it's a momentous night like last year, so I'm wishing that Nicole will storm the stage and try to slap Blanchett when she accepts the Best Actress Oscar but suddenly Michelle Yeoh comes flying in from the wings and Kung Fu kicks her in the head... and saves the day to a standing ovation!

Slap Happy Hands

1. BLANCHETT! (Best performance of the DECADE so far! Plus, FUCK Yeoh or anyone winning cuz idiotic SJW zombies idiots like you-know-who want people to get awards for things that have ZERO to do with performance quality)

2. CONDON! (Blows her competition away! Plus FUCK Bassett and the SJW idiots mentioned above, and FUCK JLC's overrated ass and her mediocre performance).

3. BLANCHETT! (Was gonna say a shocking Farrell upset, but that's way more unlikely than the first 2, and I literally would be more than twice as happy if Dame Cate won than if Colin did, so it makes sense to mention her twice).

1.) In a surprise twist, The Northman wins every category due to some unorthodox “grassroots” campaigning, but, none of the cast and crew are present at the ceremony.

2.) To save face, the producers for the Oscars decide to delay the show in order for the entire Northman cast and crew to arrive (which takes hours) and force Jimmy Kimmel to go on doing painful bit after painful bit which causes the show to go way over time. Network execs are furious as this will undoubtedly lead to record lows in viewership.

3.) The industry collapses.

You REALLY think she was better than Blanchett, or is it just this "minority pity vote" stuff?

I'm Puerto Rican, but if a Latina or even PR actress was up against Blanchett but didn't give a performance anywhere near her level, I would NOT be rooting for her. Yes, she'd make history, but I'd rather that history be made by a GREAT performance. Halle Berry made history, and while that was a very good performance (certainly better than Yeoh's), it was not a great one and Whoopi in "Color Purple" or Bassett in "What's Love Got to Do with It" would have been much more artistically satisfying breakers of that barrier cuz those were 2 truly great performances (Hunter was better than the latter, but still). As a progressive, I'm certainly NOT opposed to affirmative action in many cases, but I definitely am when it comes to awards for talent. That should be strictly a meritocracy.