Happy Birthday Toni Collette!

Do you have an audition horror story that you could share with us?
I was meeting with Spike Jonze on “Adaptation.” I love his films. I was in L.A., I was so excited that the audition came up. But prior to that, I’d been doing an Indian cleanse called panchakarma, where you live on, like, three handfuls of dal and rice a day and you have all these experiences with massage and hot oil dripping on your forehead. I was feeling really spicy and feeling like I was communicating with nature—you know, that kind of vibe. Then I go to meet with Spike.

We’re sitting in a room and we have a conversation and he goes, “OK, let’s read.” I did the scene, and then he would say, “OK. Now, let’s try it this way,” and he would give me some direction—and I did it the exact same way. Then he would say, “Right, right. Then let’s try it this way,” and I would do it the exact same way because I had lost all energy and was a total zombie after this bloody cleanse. I had no ability to dig in and find anything. I was just so hungry. [Laughs]

Have you been in touch with him since or been able to make amends?
I did have another moment with him where I went to meet him about being the voice in “Her,” of the computer, which was an incredible film. I didn’t end up doing it, but I did bring up that I felt terrible about that initial audition that I had with him because I was just out of my mind.


How funny that that’s your audition horror story and you’re now working on a Charlie Kaufman film, who wrote “Adaptation.”
I know. I love “Being John Malkovich.” I love “Adaptation.” One of my literal favorite movies of all time is “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.” Honestly, I’m such a fan. I can’t believe I got to work with him.